Hire Mike Rice,

David Ogilvy, ad man:

“Mike Rice is like a son I never had. I mean that very literally.”

Sir Isaac Newton, physicist:

“You know, my Second Law of Motion was loosely based on Mike’s career trajectory.”

Kim Jong-un, Great Supreme Leader, North Korea:

“I have my propaganda team comb through Mr. Rice’s performance reviews for better superlatives.”

Pete Rose, Hall of Fame baseball player:

“If I were a betting man, I’d say Rice didn't even have to look up how to spell Kim Jong-un.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director, National Institute of Infectious Diseases:

“I'm not saying he's the cure, but— okay, yeah, I'm comfortable saying he's not the cure.”

You, 30 minutes from now:

“This Mike Rice guy...I like this guy. We should probably hire him.”